god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
