So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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