Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
