I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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