im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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