I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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