It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
