Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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