i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
