16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
