walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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