I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
