I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Randomize
