he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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