Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
