So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
