Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
