I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
