It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
