smell my finger.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I think a kid would responsible me up
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
