Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
