If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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