R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
