I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
