She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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