I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
