why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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