why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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