uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
