And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
