Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
