11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
