But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
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You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
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Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize