I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
this will be a night to untag.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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