i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize