Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
