Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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