You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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