no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.