I look better un-naked...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
