my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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