we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
so much tequila, so little girl.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
