This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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