you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
