i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
