wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
