i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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