garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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