We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
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