remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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