Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize