She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
