Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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