She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
