Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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