OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
