You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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