First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You need Xanax blowdarts
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
