Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize